Is worrying about how your kids are going to behave during your photo session stressing you out?
You are thinking about a family photo session – your children are SO adorable and this stage of life is zooming by! You want to capture this precious time with photos to hold the memories. What I always say is yes – now is always a good time for a photo session! But you are concerned. You are worrying to yourself: ‘but… how will I get my kids to behave??” I would like to suggest that there is a different way to frame your concern about your kids’ behavior during family photos.
If you’ve been advised to plan some kind of activity during your session (if I am your photographer, you will be), and you’re worrying, ‘what are we going to do!???, perhaps answering one of these questions will help with the other. Let me explain.
Instead of worrying about kids ‘behavior’ during a photo session – think about this instead
When we worry about kids not behaving, we are generally talking about Behave with a capital B – the one that carries all the social acceptability baggage. ‘Little b’ behavior – especially when it comes to kids, is simply what they are doing – or not doing. Kids don’t (can’t) always filter their behavior through the lenses of manners, etiquette, or propriety. The behavior is what it is – until we put it into a context it doesn’t belong, or when it breaks with the ways we want them to be.
Often, the context is what determines Behaving. In a library, a kid running around and yelling is not ‘Behaving’ – but out on a playground, that same behavior is totally acceptable. To alleviate many concerns about Behavior, I suggest parents look to the context of the session as an opportunity to set the kids up for success.
Support ‘successful’ kids’ behavior during family photos through the right activity
For family sessions with me, I always encourage parents to think about planning an activity that will make sense given what they know about their kids’ personalities – and also that says something about your family’s dynamic too. Your kid loves to run around and be loud? Great! Let’s go to a park, the one where you spend every Saturday afternoon. Does your kid need to snuggle and cling to you when there are new people around? Ok, maybe planning to be at home snuggled on the couch with a favorite book and the usual snacks will be more their speed.
When thinking about what the ‘good fit’ activity looks like for your kids and your family dynamic, I do have some suggestions from the point of view of what photographs well. Activities that help you maintain physical proximity and interpersonal connection make great photos! Here are some examples:
-picnics
-reading together
-baking projects
-blowing bubbles
-art projects
-board games
-playing in the snow or at the beach
(By the same reasoning, playing catch, walking on a narrow trail, or riding scooters or bikes tend to spread people out a lot and make it more difficult for me to capture connections. If I am having to chase behind you just to keep up, I won’t be able to do the photography part of my job nearly as well!)
Kids behavior during family photos is just kids being kids
Kids are doing the best they can with the tools they have. You can help them show up as their best selves by creating a context in which they feel seen, comfortable, and safe. It also might help if you choose clothing that won’t be a battle, and don’t require them to put on a happy face if they aren’t ready. Allowing the authentic to show up, and creating a container where it will be welcome, can take away the worry about how kids are going to be. You can relax during the session. Have fun with your kids. That fun will show up in the photos.