This photo of me, my sister, and our grandmother Jean, (c. 1979) stands in for several memories I have of visiting Ruth Cohn’s pool as a child (Jean and Ruth were friends, and we kids were lucky to get visits to the pool). On the surface, it’s a simple moment – just a grandparent playing with her grandkids on a sunny summer day, unscripted and unposed. Through the eyes of the 8 year old kid in the picture, I am sure I wouldn’t see much more than that – Jean in her old lady swim cap and us – kids just being kids. But what I couldn’t see then is the reason why I feel that including grandparents in family photos can be such a meaningful thing to do.
Today, my grown up-self can’t stop looking at the grandparent in this photo. The muscles rippling across her arms, the shape of her body at once curvaceous and solid. This ‘old lady’ is, by my math, probably within 5 years of my current age (!!). In her face I see not only her mother, but my aging father, and his sister, too. I suppose I should be looking for my own face too… genetics, man.
What Grandparents in Family Photos Reveal Over Time
There is so much I see now that I could not see until life had afforded me the perspective. The long-days/short-years of my own childhood (thanks to becoming a parent). The energy Jean poured into being with her grandkids, then and always. How much she saw us grow and change, and how much she changed in the time we were too busy growing up ourselves to notice. Also, how very, very much I wish she could have been around to meet my own kids. I value having this photo so much, because the grown up version of me can go back to the moment the child version of me was in, and see now what I did not – could not – see then.
My Own Parents as Grandparents in Family Photos
I’ve also had the perspective of watching my own parents’ grandparent journeys. Each had to struggle with long distance and ultimately so much less time than they thought they’d have. But I know how much they loved their grandchildren. This makes the photos (and memories) we made together even more valuable – they will be around for my kids to someday look at through their own adult eyes, and I hope they will see something new – something they couldn’t see as babies or kids – about the people my parents were.
my mom, my son, a snapshot of a fleeting moment that she got too few of.
Why I Love Including Grandparents in Family Photos
In my photography sessions, I’ve seen a lot of grandparents lately, and I’m so happy they are being included in family sessions. From Grands who babysit regularly to the ones who traveled across state lines for a brief visit meeting a new baby, they should all be included in their family’s photographic record. Their presence in the photos is a gift for everyone (including them!), now and especially in the future.
I’d Love to Include Grandparents in Your Family Photos
I understand that not everyone has an easy path to including grandparents in their family photos. I get that sometimes relationships are too complicated, or it’s simply not possible because of loss or illness. I also know, from personal experience, that it is a limited-time opportunity. So if it’s a possibility for you, I encourage you to invite them in. A family session that includes the grandparents can take place at your home, their home, or anywhere else that is comfortable for everyone to spend time. If Grands are not local, planning a session around a visit can be a wonderful way to mark that specific time spent together. Planning a relaxed activity for grands and kids to share will help us capture moments that, years from now, will feel special just by nature of the generations included. Reading together, a favorite game, or anything that is or can be passed down through generations are all ideas that you could take in a direction that fits your family. Grandparents who have regular childcare time with the kids can likely suggest ways to spend the time that are meaningful to their relationship – it all works. I hope you’ll consider it.